My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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