I hate your face
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
