scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
