i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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