mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
