Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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