So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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