how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
