We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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