you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
