thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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