Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
