beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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