So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
