Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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