My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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