C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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