I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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