someone threw a dead crab at me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
