Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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