I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
