Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
tell me about the eggs
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
