Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
