My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
