I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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