i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
