Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
