so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
