Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize