U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
