ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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