Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
