I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
