Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
