my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How external is "for external use only"?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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