i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
