How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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