So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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