i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
