glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
