He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
