He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
