I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
