i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
