I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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