Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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