just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
