Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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