Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
