I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
